Competitive Shopping

I don’t even drunk dial people anymore because I have nothing to say. But I drunk eBay and Amazon. I buy sh** when I’m blacked out. Which is, eBay’s the worst. Because if I get outbid, then I take it personal.

When I’m drinking. You just f***ing looked at my girlfriend. Weird. Oh, I’ll beat me. I’m gonna f***ing outbid you. Yeah, I’m. Wait. Oh, wait. Come on. Oh, I’ll beat me. I’ll beat you. Because you probably have kids. I don’t I don’t have a lot of money, but every penny I have is disposable because I don’t have children. I bought a s***y, cheap house on the Mexican border.

My nut is 800 bucks a year in property tax. I could beg that, you. You’re going to outbid me. Eventually, you’re going to realize, oh, sh**, my children have to go to college, and I’m going to realize, oh, sh**, I need a vintage pachinko machine in my house for some unknown reason. I’ll bet you you lose. I’m a giant winner.

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