Find something around the house that’s of equal shape and size and nontoxic, and that way you’ll never get caught.

No one’s going to come to your house and sniff your candles, you know, look at it. No one’s going to notice a fleck of poop on your Mardi Gras beads. Come on. They’re too festively painted.

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Categories: Comedy, Entertainment
Doug Stanhope

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